I have this issue where I do not see my full potential and everyone else seems to. Sometimes I wish I could view myself from their eyes to see what I am missing. I know I can do that, but I just don't know how to. I need a lot more faith in myself in order to do that. I haven't really done anything in my life that shows me my potential, to show me that I can be more than what I have settled for. This is another reason why I always tend to aim low and am truly happy when I achieve something more. Because to me, that low point is what I believe I deserve with the work I put in, but achieving something more shows me that, if I actually work harder and put more effort into it, I can get it.
But here's the other not-an-excuse excuse, I am lazy, unmotivated, and just a big procrastinator. This prevents me from doing so much and also limits my faith in myself. I mean, I have faith that I will get things done, but when it comes to actually putting in the effort, I tend to turn away from that. Which leads to the idea that that is all I can do. I always say, "once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator" because old habits do die hard. But I don't actually believe that statement because I can change. I can do whatever the hell I want, but the question is do I want to?
I think I am afraid of something. I am afraid of putting in the effort, having faith in myself and still failing. Failing is one of my biggest fears. I guess it's one of many people's fears. But I am so afraid to lose that I tell myself that if I expect to fail, then it's okay. So if I set my bar low, I am lowering my chances of being disappointed in myself. It makes so much sense when I am actually doing it, but writing it down makes it seem like a cowardice move. IT IS a cowardice move.
Wow, I was meant to talk about other people believing in you more than yourself, but I went on a tangent. As usual. I guess, it's easier for other people to see your potential and to wish for you to achieve great things because they do not have this nagging voice in their head that is pointing out all your flaws, weaknesses and fears. They only see your abilities. What you (meaning me) should do is take a step out of your head and try and view yourself from their perspective. Give yourself a chance to prove itself. Give yourself a little more positive thoughts, be optimistic. And that can take you a long way. Baby steps. That's all you gotta take. Small steps in order to rise higher. And be better.
"I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough"
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