Tuesday, 9 April 2013

I karate chopped a spider...

... or maybe it karate chopped me?

THURSDAY'S EVENTFUL MORNING

I was going about my regular routine. Catching the latest possible bus so I can sleep in a little bit longer (my bed is my bestest friend in the whole world). I wake up about an hour before my departure time. I do the usual - brush teeth, get dressed, and go down. I pretend that I want to eat breakfast (I only eat breakfasts on weekends). I drink a glass of water because I hear my mum's voice saying "when you wake up, the first thing you do is drink a glass of water". All of a sudden, the thought crosses my mind that I have not seen a spider in my kitchen lately (apparently, spiders think my house is a hotel). So I decide to look around the kitchen, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, a spider is sitting on the wall. I start to internally freak out, but I have to get rid of it so I align myself on the wall to see if it has been killed and left to show other spiders their deadly future. It was very much alive.

Now here comes the hard part - killing it. I looked around my house for a fly swat, but it was hiding from me because it wanted to see me faint and freak out. So I decided to use a slipper. The problem with using shoes and slippers, I've noticed, is that if the bloody thing is almost near the crease of the wall, it renders my killing tactics from being effective. But I attempted it anyways...

What happened next made me freak out, feel embarrassed, and then ultimately laugh at myself. I hit the spider, but with my luck, and aim, and lack of hand-eye coordination, I missed the spider. The gust of wind that was created from the smack on the wall made the spider fall... towards me. Here's a girl who is petrified of bugs, especially spiders, and here's her very fear falling down on her. I turned into the 5th member of The Wiggles. I shook my entire body in such a way that if someone had to walk in on me at that moment, they would have thought I was having some kind of seizure or something. After what felt like 10 years (but really it was  a minute or two, tops), I stopped shaking and jumping and wiggling, and turned to my floor to find the little sucker to take away his second chance of life because he took away about 10 years of my life in those few minutes. After about another minute of searching, I decided to give up. My eyes automatically went to the wall to make sure he was not there, BUT the unfortunate bugger did not learn his lesson and was at eye level now, which gave me a lot more confidence (revved with vengeance) than I had before.

Everyone knows the ending to this brave story.

SUMMER 2013
  • Take a long drive by myself and/or with friends just for fun
  • Read at least 5 books
  • Take the tube downtown
  • Attempt to have a social life rather than an internet life
  • Camping/Cottaging
  • Sleepovers
  • Disney Movie Marathon
  • Buy movies I have/still will watch over again
  • Bungee jump! - my ultimate summer goal! 
  • Create a picture collage on my wall

"I don’t know if I’ll fall asleep tonight 'cause you won’t, just won’t get off my mind"

1 comment:

  1. OMG!!!! I laughed soo hard I teared up.

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