Thursday 16 May 2013

Stuck in the past

Everyone else seems to be starting their lives, moving on, and getting out into the world. Everyone seems to be experiencing the world and exploring things and ultimately enjoying themselves. Everyone`s lives are coming together, are falling into place, are forming into something. And then there`s me.

I can`t say that I have anyone else to blame other than myself. I see all my friends having jobs, going places, doing things that I`ve only dreamt about doing, and just putting themselves out there. Meanwhile, I`m stuck in the same old routine and I`m scared to step out of it. I`m terrified of being rejected, of not getting to the place I want to go, of anything remotely outside my comfort zone; outside of the familiar walls around me. I have this burning desire to experience and explore the world, but I also have this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that eats away at every ounce of courage and confidence I have to achieve my desires. I know that the only way for me to do the things I love is to get over my fear and just do things, just experience them any way, no matter what the end result may be. To me, this is easier said than done. I just can`t push myself out of this fear, out of this mindset I have grown so accustomed to.

I want to start living my life. I do not want to be the person that is left behind while my friends and family move on. I do not want to be the one who everyone looks back at and waves because I`d be stuck in the past, and unwilling to move forward. I want to move with them. I want to do the things I love. I want to experience new things. I do not want to have such a limited comfort zone.

 



``I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost
I wanna feel like we never gonna ever stop``