I have started to talk to some old friends recently, as well as keep in touch with others. It feels good. I reminisce over all the good times I've had with them, and I have a slight hope that more great times will take place in the future
I have come to the realization that I put in a little too much effort in upholding some friendships. I need to learn that sometimes, people come and go. They create some amazing memories for you, they have shown you a wonderful time, but they have to leave. And you have to let go. Obviously I'm not going to cut them out of my life completely - I can't do that - but I'm going to make much less of an effort than I did before. I will definitely include them in plans I think they can join in and enjoy, but I won't try and have a conversation with them on a regular basis. I will also accept any plans they include me in, and I assure you that I will have a blast. I'm not going to take time out of my day if they don't take time out of theirs just to say "Hello" or "You alive?".
This sounds a bit crude but I'm not trying to be. And I just realized that even with the "crudeness", I'm still where I am now. I mean, they will still be in my life. They will still be included in my plans. I will accept offers to join their plans. So what exactly am I changing? Haha, well I guess nothing. The only thing that is different is that I have this "revelation", that lets me know that I shouldn't feel bad for not keeping in touch because, in the end, life IS a two way street, and the effort should be balanced.
There are some friends that are your sisters.
There are some friends that are your friends.
There are some friends that are your break-friends.
There are some friends that are just class-friends.
There are some friends that are only your friends when you are needed by them.
There are some friends that were best friends before.
There are some friends that are acquaintances.
It dawned on me today that some friends stay friends because of the familiarity they feel of each other. They may not have much in common, they may sit in silence, but the fact of the matter is they feel comfortable around that person. Silence is not a bad thing. If you can sit in silence with someone, that's a gold friendship right there. BUT you also have to be able to keep up a conversation. And if you can't do that, it's kinda awkward, and boring. Familiarity is what keeps the friendship going, nothing more, in cases like these - in my opinion.
FEELINGS
Have you ever come to the point where you have TONS of things to do but you have absolutely no motivation to do it all? Where you're brain shuts down and doesn't allow you to do anything related to that pile of work? Where you feel like crying but instead you just laugh because of the amount of time wasted?
I think that feeling is something very close, if not it exactly, to giving up. Giving up and not caring about the consequences. Giving up and accepting the failures that will follow. It's not something you want, it's not something you planned, but it just takes over. It creeps in and makes excuses and diminishes your will to keep the motivation and to focus on the end game.Your brain just closes. Your heart sinks. And you have NO energy to lift yourself up and start again. You just want to crawl somewhere and stay there.
But you know - and even I know - that we can't just sink to the bottom and stay there. We MUST swim back to the top. We must get up from rock bottom and start again. Begin the climb towards the end, towards your goals and finish it. And eventually, with these thoughts - and possibly pressure of not wanting to fail - will give you enough energy to kick you back into the right direction.
SMOOTHIES & PANCAKES (Crepes)
I just wanted this in the title. It was my dinner last night :P
Frozen berries, yogurt, milk, and a little sugar = SMOOTHIE!
Flour, eggs, milk, oil, water, pinch of salt, and 1/2 an onion to fry = PANCAKES!
"Your skin. The touch. The kiss. The rush. Too much"
Brav0!
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