March Favourites

I will post new and/or favourite things of mine that were discovered (new) or used a lot of (favourites?) in a particular month :) They could include places I have visited, things I've done, things I'd like to do, things I'm in love with, ideas I like, things I've bought, new artists (and so on) that were present in that month.

I won't be doing these every month, as there would be quite a lot of repetition, but in the months that I have quite a few favourites, I will write about them :)

Black nail polish

Spring Days

StumbleUpon

No Twitter

Sony Xperia Z

Rekindling some friendships

Nature's Touch frozen fruits 

Bubble Baths

Bath & Body Works Foaming Soaps 

Mango Sweets

Osheaga (event)

POM juice

Grumpy Cat Memes

Baby Emma

Earth Hour

Burt's Bee Lip Balm

Lions Mini (chocolate)

FunForLouis

Digital Camera

Fishtail Braids

Park Lawn

"You're holding it in. You're pouring a drink"

Live the life you HAVE not the life you WANT.

Borrowed from CP's blog post, "You just weren't feeling it" 

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now." ~Amanda Crute 

_______

This is a message to my future self:

Though you may be very optimistic about deadlines, and your ability to work well under pressure, it truly and completely sucks balls (for lack of a better word) when you are actually under the kind of pressure where you can't worm your way out. You are stuck. You don't know what to do anymore, and you just want to cry. You get to the point where you actually want to give up on everything in life and just stay in your bed for ever. It takes a toll on your body. It gives you headaches. It even gives you pimples. It makes you binge eat, which is never good. All I ask is that you end your procrastination a little earlier than two days before the deadline. Add an extra two days, it may make a difference. Please, Future Self. I beg of you. 

I used to be love drunk, but not I'm hungover

I want to crawl in a hole and stay there forever.

When I have stuff to do, I will find every possible thing to avoid doing it.
When I have stuff to do, I have plenty of other things that catches my attention.
When I have stuff to do, I read (for pleasure) a lot more than usual.
When I don't have anything to do, I crave for things to do.
When I don't have anything to do, time moves in slow-motion.
When I don't have anything to do, nothing interests me.
Why is this the case?

People have opinions. People have the right to have those opinions. But sometimes I just don't like people's opinions and I feel the need to make them see my way of thinking. But then I realize that does not really accept the fact that people have a right to their opinion and I must keep my thoughts to myself and just let it be.

Plans never work for me. Plans with friends tend to flop. Plans to work tend to flop. Plans. Plans. Plans. It's just something I cannot stick with. If I plan out my day, it will be all messed up and something with obstruct the flow of things and I won't get everything done... no matter if the plan consisted of 2 things. I guess I'm a spontaneous, works-under-pressure kinda person.

Time flies when you have things to do and you haven't started. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. Time flies when you are in a really good conversation.

Have you ever had the dilemma of wanting to leave a place but you can't because it makes you smile (yet sad)? Starbucks attracts a lot of good looking folks to their tasty (but rather expensive) drinks. They also attract couples. Therefore, the dilemma here is that you get to see a whole lot of beautiful eyes, hair, face, style, and bums, but you also get to feel "forever alone". First world dilemmas.

No, I don't want a boyfriend. Yes, it would be nice. But I am happy with what I got and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I also realized that I have a few (let's be honest, a lot) of expectations which are somewhat unrealistic. They are not impossible, but to find them in one person is kind of a lot to ask for. I see couples around me, my friends in relationships and I feel like what most of them have is not something I would want. I realize I cannot say what I would do in a relationship since I have never been in one, but I do hope I at least don't do the things I don't like other people doing.

Hangover - the not-so-nice feelings you get after doing these things or experiencing the aftermaths of something.
I'm hungover. Hungover from all the handsome young fellas I have seen for the past 4 months. Hungover from all the work I have done and all the stress I still have. Hungover from everything that happened last month and the consequences it had. Hungover from the time I have wasted. Hungover from all the expectations I set myself. Hungover from annoying people. I'm hungover from life.

Rumbles. Jumbles. And a bunch of nonsense. Enjoy!

"But I think I'd feel naked without your shirt"

Friends. Feelings. Smoothies & Pancakes.

FRIENDS

I have started to talk to some old friends recently, as well as keep in touch with others. It feels good. I reminisce over all the good times I've had with them, and I have a slight hope that more great times will take place in the future

I have come to the realization that I put in a little too much effort in upholding some friendships. I need to learn that sometimes, people come and go. They create some amazing memories for you, they have shown you a wonderful time, but they have to leave. And you have to let go. Obviously I'm not going to cut them out of my life completely - I can't do that - but I'm going to make much less of an effort than I did before. I will definitely include them in plans I think they can join in and enjoy, but I won't try and have a conversation with them on a regular basis. I will also accept any plans they include me in, and I assure you that I will have a blast. I'm not going to take time out of my day if they don't take time out of theirs just to say "Hello" or "You alive?". 
This sounds a bit crude but I'm not trying to be. And I just realized that even with the "crudeness", I'm still where I am now. I mean, they will still be in my life. They will still be included in my plans. I will accept offers to join their plans. So what exactly am I changing? Haha, well I guess nothing. The only thing that is different is that I have this "revelation", that lets me know that I shouldn't feel bad for not keeping in touch because, in the end, life IS a two way street, and the effort should be balanced. 

There are some friends that are your sisters.
There are some friends that are your friends.
There are some friends that are your break-friends.
There are some friends that are just class-friends.
There are some friends that are only your friends when you are needed by them.
There are some friends that were best friends before.
There are some friends that are acquaintances. 

It dawned on me today that some friends stay friends because of the familiarity they feel of each other. They may not have much in common, they may sit in silence, but the fact of the matter is they feel comfortable around that person. Silence is not a bad thing. If you can sit in silence with someone, that's a gold friendship right there. BUT you also have to be able to keep up a conversation. And if you can't do that, it's kinda awkward, and boring. Familiarity is what keeps the friendship going, nothing more, in cases like these - in my opinion. 

FEELINGS

Have you ever come to the point where you have TONS of things to do but you have absolutely no motivation to do it all? Where you're brain shuts down and doesn't allow you to do anything related to that pile of work? Where you feel like crying but instead you just laugh because of the amount of time wasted? 

I think that feeling is something very close, if not it exactly, to giving up. Giving up and not caring about the consequences. Giving up and accepting the failures that will follow. It's not something you want, it's not something you planned, but it just takes over. It creeps in and makes excuses and diminishes your will to keep the motivation and to focus on the end game.Your brain just closes. Your heart sinks. And you have NO energy to lift yourself up and start again. You just want to crawl somewhere and stay there. 
But you know - and even I know - that we can't just sink to the bottom and stay there. We MUST swim back to the top. We must get up from rock bottom and start again. Begin the climb towards the end, towards your goals and finish it. And eventually, with these thoughts - and possibly pressure of not wanting to fail - will give you enough energy to kick you back into the right direction. 

SMOOTHIES & PANCAKES (Crepes)

I just wanted this in the title. It was my dinner last night :P 

Frozen berries, yogurt, milk, and a little sugar = SMOOTHIE! 
Flour, eggs, milk, oil, water, pinch of salt, and 1/2 an onion to fry = PANCAKES! 

"Your skin. The touch. The kiss. The rush. Too much"

Interesting

The impression of you that I get is that you are a sensitive person but are often wary of expressing your true thoughts and emotions. I feel that you have been hurt in the past and this may be the reason for your caution however, once you allow people to become a part of your life, i.e. by confiding in them or accepting their help or advice, you find it easier to develop a sense of trust and affinity.

There is something from your childhood which you are especially sensitive about, I'm not sure exactly what this is but I do know that it would take a very special person for you to confide this secret to. If this issue hasn't yet been resolved then you may feel a little ashamed of whatever this was but one message that comes through to me is that it was not your fault.

You have always tried your best in most of the things that you've done. You realize that you could have done better at times with certain projects but your interest simply wasn't there. You find it easy to concentrate on things that really interest you, but if someone tries to make you study a subject or project that you don't want to learn about then you tend to 'phase out'.

There was an artistic or musical interest that you had when you were younger that you could have developed but didn't. It may be that there were too many other things going on in your life at the time or that it simply wasn't the right time for you, I feel that you will probably go back to that interest at some time in the future and excel at it.

You lost someone very special in your past and this left you with a sense of loneliness or abandonment. You still miss this person but I figure you are now coming to terms with that loss. In a way it made you appreciate loved ones more; however you don't always show your true feelings.

You find the opposite sex intriguing. Sometimes you hate them, sometimes you love them. Your emotions seem to swing from high to low and back again.

You would like to be the centre of attention at times however most of the time you are happy to watch and observe. You don't like making a fool of yourself and you certainly wouldn't enjoy seeing your best friend or someone you really care about making a fool of themselves.

You have an overwhelming protective instinct. If someone you love annoys you then you will tell them so. If an outsider insults them then you instinctively jump to their defensive. It's as though 'It's alright for you to say that, but not for them to'.

You have certain colours that you like and will wear them depending on your mood. You are also sensitive to smell, you have favourite aromas and some memories that are associated to them e.g. bonfire night or your mother's favourite perfume or shampoo or perhaps a favourite dish i.e roast beef, curry, chicken or steak or perhaps even a tomato based recipe.

You are idealistic about the person you would like to eventually settle down with (if indeed you have not already met that person). You really want your relationship to work out and will do your utmost to make things work. However if your partnership is wrong then you have no hesitation in not making this effort.

You want to be happy in life. You hate hurting people and if this inadvertently does happen then you feel that hurt yourself. You are happy with your morals but would love to improve yourself in some way.

At the moment you are in some sort of quandary about the direction your life is taking you and there are decisions to be made. Making decisions is not always easy for you, you like to weigh up the options in your mind and find yourself swayed by outside distractions. In this area you should always trust your instinct.

Life is not always easy for you; often you meet obstacles just as you think you are reaching your goal. These setbacks can make you feel unsettled or even depressed at times but you have a knack of being able to bounce back.

When you look back on your life at some of the difficult times you realize that they seemed a lot worse at the time than they actually were. You are a survivor and are guided by hope and optimism.

Money can be an issue for you and you should learn to manage it more effectively. Although you have to rely on outside sources at times you would prefer to be totally independent in this area.

You dislike chaos and would be happier in a well organized environment but it seems that there is never enough time to carry out your well meaning intentions.

Some time ago there was a disastrous relationship that knocked your confidence somewhat. Although you are over that now, there are still times when you feel vulnerable and insecure. You want to be loved for who you are, not how others want you to be and you generally try to please most of the time however under extreme provocation you find it impossible to bottle up your feelings and minor explosions can occur.

In order to overcome this tendency you should learn to communicate more freely in the early stages of an impending crisis.

You enjoy travelling but something seems to be holding you back from being able to visit all the places you'd like to go. This could be money or other commitments or simply something within yourself that you have not yet acknowledged.

Children, or one in particular, will play an important part of your life and you will derive a great deal of pleasure from helping him or her. You will also find yourself re-thinking a lot of your original ideas as your experience and maturity grow.

"To him you are just another doll and I tried to warn you"

Rant #3 - One was awesome. Two was good. But three is just ridiculous

Why can't the movie industry make one movie and be happy with it? Why do they have to ruin the franchise just for the sake of making money? Why can't they just be creative? I mean, imagination can take you places, look at Avatar. It was different, though it stuck to a Hollywood aspect, it was still amazingly different.

I understand movies like Harry Potter having like 8 movies... They had 7 books for goodness sakes! They had to complete the story. Hangover, what is your excuse? The first one was HIGH-LARIOUS! The second was funny, but it was the SAME plot. What is the third one gonna be? Is there gonna be a fourth one since there were FOUR guys? I'm not grasping the idea of WHY you're creating another one! You're just over-killing it. You're making mountains out of mole hills. STOP. Please.

What is with you movies and sequels? Not everything has to have a sequel. One is really great. It gives you a good hearty laugh, and then you move on. IF you can come up with another movie, that is funny but does NOT follow the same plot as the first one, then by all means go for it. A sequel should only have two similar things to its original: the characters & their back story. Everything else should be different, better, WORTH THE WATCH!

"I don't know who you think you are, but before the night is through, I wanna do bad things with you."

Second chances are not for sale

You've had so many chances to change your life. So many opportunities to take control of it. But you don't. You just expect things to be handed to you. Expect things to just work out. You act like you don't even care, but that's not true. You do care, you are just too lazy to care enough to change. You don't see the faults in your actions. Or rather, you do see the faults, your just not willing to change them. To become better. What you don't realize is that your actions don't only affect you, they affect everyone.

You've gone from making mistakes to embracing stupidity full on. And there's nothing that can fix your actions in the stupidity zone. 

"But I can't bear to listen to you cry. Sick of all these wasted years drowned in someone else’s tears. You let me down, now I'm hanging you out to dry."

Is there such a thing as destiny?

People say "You were born to be this" "You were meant to be here" "It's your destiny"... But is it really Doesn't choice factor into it? Doesn't free will? If you are destined to be something or somewhere, whatever you do in life should lead you there. But can't you change this depending on the choices you make? Can't your destiny change? So, if destiny can change, doesn't that beat the purpose of destiny itself?

"Don't talk to strangers and don't walk into danger."

25 Facts About Yours Truly

1. I don't think I can actually come up with 25 facts about myself
2. I procrastinate BIG TIME
3. I have a twitter, facebook, tumblr, instagram, stumbleupon, keek, and pinterest account - internet addict
4. Before I go to sleep, I check almost all of my social media accounts (very bad habit)
5. I love sushi
6. When I am angry, I write about it in my "diary" so to speak
7. I love pictures of nature - sunsets, sunrises, vast spaces of greens, mountains, water, etc
8. I want to travel
9. I have an attention span of a goldfish - very small
10. I am stumped to come up with more facts at this point
11. I love the water, but hate to swim
12. I love snowfall, but hate winter
13. I have yet to find my calling in life
14. I love to read teen fiction and watch RomComs. It just makes me more depressed
15. Foreign accents make me smile :)
16. I like to be alone on bus rides
17. I love Cadbury chocolate from London
18. I eat Halls like it's a candy or mint
19. I am not as outgoing as people think I am. I am actually afraid of meeting new people. 
20. I am officially stumped, again
21. I cannot keep a conversation going with people. They have to ask me the questions for me to talk
22. I am very loud at times without realizing it
23. I love my TV and laptop - I spend 20 hours a day on these things, and 4 hours on actual work
24. I love my iPod
25. I am currently supposed to be working on a paper, but I decided to procrastinate and do this :) 

"Maybe I'm a mad man. Maybe I'm a bad bad bad man."

Look out to the future, but it tells you nothing

Right now, my favourite song.
By my new found love, Bastille.

Apparently, success outweighs interests. People want me to be something that will get me more money rather than something that will interest me. People feel like they know what the future holds. They think that their ideas and choices are more informed and better in the long run. They feel the need to share their unwanted thoughts on my choices for the future.

In my mind, INTEREST BEFORE SUCCESS. You must me interested in something in order to succeed in it, otherwise you will have a miserable life in whatever you are doing. Therefore, the choice I am making is to NOT be miserable and actually be willing to learn about something that will keep me awake and engaged.

I don't condemn people who think of success because that is good for the long run, but what if in the long run what is successful now won't be successful then? Our world is changing so quickly that we can't predict the future.

My message to all of you who are judging my choices:
You don't know what the future holds. So stop trying to predict it. And even if you predict it right, I will give you full permission to say "I told you so". But right now, I am doing this for MY future, so let me be. Let me make my choices, just like you did.

"I'll never know how the future will go. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not a fortune teller"

Heavy hearts, tearful eyes

I wanted to write an "angry poem", lashing out at you with words. 

But my fingers would not type, my mind blank.

But my heart, my heart was saying a lot more than nothing. 

It was yelling, screaming, shouting on top of it's imaginary lungs.

It wanted to beat out of my chest to give you a piece of it's mind.

It was screaming all the swear words it possibly knew. 

My heart knew what to say, it knew exactly what to say. 

My heart's anger, it's agony, that's what was creating this feeling inside me. 

That feeling like a hundred people are doing CPR on you,

Pressing your chest so hard you can feel it slowly crushing. 

Like your entire world is crumbling. 

My mind may lie to you,  maybe even my words.

But my heart, my heart knows what I feel,

And one day, you will know what I feel too. 

"Your hands protect the flames from the wild winds around you"